What Makes a Course Lorg-Worthy?
Not all golf courses are created equal in the eyes of Lorg. To achieve the coveted status of a USLA Certified Course, a venue must meet our rigorous (and slightly ridiculous) standards:
- Ample Ball-Hiding Opportunities: We're talking lush rough, sneaky sand traps, and mysterious wooded areas. The more places a ball can hide, the better!
- A Sense of Humor: The course staff must be able to appreciate the sight of grown adults crawling through bushes yelling "Lorg!" at regular intervals.
- Strategic Ball Placement: Our team of expert Lorgers will assess the course's natural ability to collect and disperse lost balls. A good Lorg course should be like a giant game of hide-and-seek for golf balls.
- Varied Terrain: From rolling hills to flat fairways, we want it all. Variety is the spice of Lorg!
- Lorg-Friendly Policies: The course must agree to our "Finders Keepers" philosophy and not get too upset when we rummage through their water hazards.
- 19th Hole Readiness: A well-stocked clubhouse is essential for post-Lorg storytelling and ball-counting sessions.
The Certification Process
Our team of dedicated Lorg enthusiasts (who definitely aren't just looking for an excuse to play more golf) will visit potential courses to assess their Lorg-worthiness. This involves:
- Playing several rounds while intentionally hitting into the rough (for research purposes, of course)
- Hiding balls in increasingly creative locations to test findability
- Timing how long it takes course staff to politely ask what on earth we're doing
Benefits of Certification
Courses that meet our exacting standards will receive:
- Official USLA Certified Course status (comes with a fancy certificate perfect for hiding ball marks on the clubhouse wall)
- Listing on our website's "Lorg-tastic Locations" map
- A special flag for the 18th hole that reads "You've survived the Lorg!"
- The joy of hosting Lorg tournaments, where the real winners are the ball manufacturers
Join the Lorg Course Revolution!
Are you a course owner tired of golfers who actually stay on the fairway? Want to add some excitement to your typically tranquil grounds? Contact the USLA today to schedule your Lorg certification assessment. Remember, in Lorg, there's no such thing as a bad lie – only an opportunity for a spectacular Lorg!